Our group, the Heroes of Vindale, had just rid the countryside of—not one—but several goblin tribes. With our hearts bolstered by our success, we set forth in our crusade against evil. When we discovered that a large tribe of Orcs had a slave-powered mining operation in the hills we decided to bring the fight to them.
The setup was elaborate: terrain depicting the hillside, decorated with tents, buildings, and towers.
And lots of Orcs.
Our party was set up on an overlook to size up the situation and form a plan of attack. Being the party’s magic-user, I was to lob fireballs from the overlook. I would be accompanied by Narn the Blade, a thief armed with a Wand of Lightning. Meanwhile the warriors would rush in from another direction to put the Orcs to the sword.
A viable plan. Save for Narn’s wand.
As experienced gamers we all knew that the wand’s command phrase:
“Wand of wonder, wand of light, smite my enemies within my sight.”
…means the wand is not what it appeared to be.
Of course our characters didn’t know that, so when it spit out a Lightning Bolt the first time it was used, our characters assumed it was a Wand of Lightning.
We prepared for battle, and Narn the Blade took up his position and recited the words.
The DM rolled the dice and…
Narn the Blade was surprised by the sudden appearance of the huge grey ass-end of an elephant right before it tumbled off the cliff. The fall only injured the beast, sending it into a rampage throughout the compound. It destroyed many tents, several more permanent structures, and drew the attention of the three ballistae crew that did their utmost to bring the damned thing down.
That distraction did far more damage than a couple of fireballs could ever have managed.
(Submitted by mikebrendan)