Fake War Stories

I was playing in a campaign where the GM was very new to the system and was running a 2e campaign in a 4e setting with 3.5e rules.

As you can see its a recipe for disaster, but moving on from that.

Our DM decided to give each individual player 200k in gold. Fatal mistake. Everyone went out and bought stat tomes, major magic items that supplemented their powers, etc.

I went out and bought about 20 minor magic items and still had enough gold to buy an armada of ships, arm them with golden cannons, and take over the world. DM doesn’t like this. (He kills my character and takes my magic items with a giant evil turnip later. But that’s a different story.)

We were sent to investigate a tomb in some necro town where the graveyard was 3/4 of the city. We entered the tomb and generally found nothing. We were on our way out when we noticed something strange.

“Guys, where’d the front door go?”

Fireball explodes 10 feet away from us. We all turn around and look at the wizard standing on the other side of the room. We lose sight of him as smoke fills the room in a thick cloud.

INITIATIVE! I go first because of high dex and a nat 20.

Me: “I use my cape of mounteback.”

DM: “You can only use it on yourself.”

Me: “Actually…”

Effect of a 9th lv caster casting dimension door

(Dimension door: you can transport a number of creatures with you equal to 1/3 your CL)

Me: “I touch the other 3 members of my party and teleport them 500 ft towards town.”

The DM was mad that I’d foiled his plot so he decided to get the town mad at us, arrest us, then let us go because there was no real reason to hold us captive.

You know its a good day when your magic item saves the entire party.

(Submitted by mrevand6)

I think my only intriguing story was in World Tree (very strange but interesting furry RPG).

Improvisational magic is a crude, childish, style of magic with a hilariously complicated system of rolling. The game was big enough I had also been dubbed co-GM in charge of magic. Unfortunately, power leads to corruption, and I nudged the GM to use some suggested optional rules in the book that gave me a lot more flexibility.

Improv magic has one thing going for it: crude, simple spells at sometimes stunning levels of power. Being specialized in it, I could really up the ante.

So at some point a massive fight breaks out between about a dozen PCs and two dozen enemies. I try flexing my magical muscle by summoning FLAMING BEES!

Cause you know, the only thing to make this battle better would be bees!

I roll to see how much power I can eke out of the spell and score stupidly well. Then I roll for success and score even more stupidly well. I do the math, and I giggle and hand the GM the stats for Fire Bees.

They’re powered at 120 or so. 30 is the normal range.

For more fun, it was a quadratic spell such that higher power equals more powerful as well as more bees. The GM looks st the dozen or two FLAMING BEES OF DOOM (tm) I have and rolls for attack.

The bees instakill the enemy. Victory is declared as the enemy is routed by my one spell or chased off by giant flaming bees.

I gained a lot of followers that day :)

(Submitted by AngelWuff via MetaFilter)