We had a party (D&D 3.5 campaign) that was working directly for the king of the country. The two main party members, as far as the kingdom story line was concerned were:

  • Lord Hek, Captain of the Guards (lvl 12 fighter), and;
  • Mobius, High Inquisitor (lvl 11 Diviner, with no offensive spells, to this day one of my favourite D&D characters)

Anyway, the PCs were following up on a series of murders and the trail led them to one of the large noble houses. After breaking into the house the party found its way to the 3rd floor and were faced with a massacre: body parts and blood of the house guards were everywhere. We were stunned.

With this evidence we were sure that the lord of the house was the guilty party. Then, out of an adjacent room came streaming a bunch of royal guards along with the lady of the house (who had an evil snarl on her lips).

She shouted out: “Guards! These men have come to my house and killed my men as you can plainly see. In the name of House Raven, arrest them at once!” 

Just as Mobius starts to speak to try and Diplomacy his way out of the predicament, Lord Hek yelled: “Off with ‘er head!” and picks up the die.

Rolls a natural 20… With his Vorpal Blade.

With the mage still at a loss for words and Lady Raven’s head falling from her severed neck, Lord Hek declares: 

“I am Lord Captain Hek, and this is Mobius, the High Inquisitor! By order of His Majesty the King we have tracked and found the instigator of the serial killings, Lady Raven who is now dead at our hands. You will secure these premises and await further orders while we report back to His Majesty.” 

…pause, gaping maws all around… 

Lord Hek: “IS THAT CLEAR?”

All the guards, in unison: “YES SIR!”

And that is how Lord Captain Hek saved the entire party from a long series of adventures focused on imprisonment, false accusations, and fall from grace.

All hail Hek!

(Submitted by Vindaloo on MetaFilter)

  1. fakewarstories posted this